Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Jokes About The Crisis from Oleg Palamarchuk

Teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk emailed these jokes to me today. I'd like to thank him for his continuing support to this blog:

One day a student asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:

“Can you tell us unmistakably and certainly when the world economic crisis will be overcome?”

“As a true predictor, I think that I won’t make a mistake if I say certainly nothing.”


One day a student asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:

“How can one become a wise and talented person?”

“First of all, one should hand his soul to God,” advised the teacher.

“But, how can the wise become a rich person?”

“Well, to become rich the one should change his mind and sell his soul profitably to devil.”


One day a student asked the teacher-polyglot:

“What party will you vote for during the next election?”

“I won’t vote for anyone,” replied the teacher.

“Why won’t you vote?”

“That’s because there is one idiot in each party.”

“What do you think about the other members?”

“They are his adherents.”


One day the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk met his old friend.

“The life if tough,” complained the friend. “It is so hard to live now!”

“Don’t worry,” the teacher advised. “The life is short. Be patient and wait a little.”


One day a girl student came to the teacher-polyglot for a consultation in English. On her finger she had a beautiful gold ring which she was showing all the time. At the end of the consultation she asked the teacher:

“What do you think about gold? Will the prices for it drop?”

“No, the prices for gold won’t drop until you try to sell this ring to somebody.”


One day a student asked a question to the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:

“Why do some work hard, run up and down - and get a little, but others work a little - and have much?”

“The matter is that God gave Man legs to run, hands to work. And God gave Man a head not to run in vain and not to work in vain.”


One day the teacher-polyglot advised one student:

“To get a prestige job you must work hard almost daily from morning till evening.”

“And what will be after that?”

“Then you will have to work hard daily from morning till evening not to lose your prestige job.”


One day a student asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:

“What is a consulting company?”

“This is a company where there are wise people who consult undertakers of small and middle business.”

“Why don’t they themselves do their own business?” the student was surprised.

“I have just told you, “This is a company where wise people are.”


(If you need more jokes, enter Oleg's site at: www.oleganekdot.narod.ru)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Really Fast

INVESTMENT BANKER # 1: How fast is your car?

INVESTMENT BANKER # 2: Well, it keeps about six months ahead of my income generally.

(Photo credit: Google Images)

Smart Like Dad

INVESTMENT BANKER DAD: If a man saves $2 a week, how long will it take him to save a thousand?

SON: He never would, Dad. After he got $900 he'd buy a car.

Like A Milk Ticket

During a financial panic, a German farmer went to a bank for some money. He was told that the bank was not paying out money, but was using cashier's checks. He could not understand this, and insisted on money.

The officers took him in hand, one after another, with little effect. At last the president tried his hand, and after long and minute explanation, some inkling of the situation seemed to be dawning on the farmer's mind. Much encouraged, the president said: "You understand now how it is, don't you, Mr.. Schmidt?"

"I t'ink I do," admitted Mr. Schmidt. "It's like dis, aindt it? Ven my baby vakes up at night and vants some milk, I gif him a milk ticket."

(Photo credit: Google Images)

Preview: Investment Banker On Life blog