Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Amusing Management Mottos to Live By



Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

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If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't have no idea of what the problem is.

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Doing a job right the first time gets the job done. Doing the job wrong fourteen times gives you job security.

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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

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A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat.

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Plagiarism saves time.

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If at first you don't succeed, try management.

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Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

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Teamwork...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

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Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

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We waste time, so you don't have to.

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Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

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Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

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When the going gets tough, the tough takes a coffee break.

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Indecision is the key to flexibility.

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Succeed in spite of management.
 
 
(Clipart courtesy of Google Images)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Joke About Traders


I've got something funny here from AnalyticalQ.com:

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.
He reduced his altitude and saw a man below.
"Excuse me, but can you help me?
I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but
I don't know where I am," he said.

The man below replied: "You are in a hot air balloon
hovering approximately 30 ft above the ground.
You are between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and
between 56 and 57 degrees West longitude."

To which the balloonist replied:
"You must be a broker." To which the man on the ground said:
"I am, but how did you know?"

The reply came from above: "Everything you told me is
technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your
information, and the fact is I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The man below responded: "You must be a trader."
To which the balloonist replied: "Yes, I am, but how did you know?"

To which the man on the ground said: "You don't know where you
are or where you are going. You have risen to your current position
due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have
no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem.
The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in
before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Preview: Investment Banker On Life blog