Last March, Oleg Palamarchuk was kind enough to share his jokes which I published here. Today, I received another batch of jokes from him. I thanked him profusely for coming to my "rescue"--I haven't posted any new jokes for quite some time now, if you noticed. I'm simply having difficulty collecting original jokes from my usual sources. Here goes Oleg with his jokes:
***
Some teachers were talking about richness, poverty and kindness.
“Only a poor man can be kind - he may share what he possesses with others,” said one woman, who was a true Christian.
“But I have never heard that a rich man would really share his property with others.”
“When you have nothing,” remarked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk. ”You always want to share it with others.”
***
One day the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk came into a bank to get a loan.
“You should have a mortgage or pawn your house or garage, or any other immovable property,” explained a bank expert.
“Can I pawn my old car? It is without its engine, without wheels. This car is a quite immovable property!”
***
One day a post woman, who had brought a letter to the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk, complained to him:
“Can you tell me: how can I live on this miserable postman’s salary?”
“It is hard, but it’s possible. You should have a strong will-power. If you overcome all your wishes you will be able to live. And if you overcome your mind you will be happy as well.”
***
One day the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk called up to one fat businessman:
“I have a proposition for you-”
“Well, tell short,” the businessman interrupted him. “Time is money! I have no time!”
“Contrary to you, I have time but no money,” the teacher informed.
“So, couldn’t you exchange your money for my time?”
***
One day during a lecture the students asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“Why are there so many opinions among our economic experts about the same problem? If one economist expresses one thought, why does another economist express a quite different one?”
“There are no adherents in the economic prognoses. If one predicts one thing and another predicts the same, who will listen to the latter?”
***
One day the students asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“What will happen to Ukraine if Russia raises its prices of oil and gas twice as high as they are just now?
“Then only wonder will save us,” replied the teacher.
“Do you think that Ukraine has no chance to be an independent state?”
“Why, no chance?” objected the teacher. “But, wonder!”
***
One businessman addressed the teacher-polyglot for an advice:
“I have a competitor. How can I destroy him without bloodshed?”
“If your competitor is weak, criticize him until he will be broken.”
“What if he is strong?”
“Then you should praise him until he will become a weak one.”
(If you need more jokes, you may visit Oleg's website: www.oleganekdot.narod.ru)
