Jokes from Oleg Palamarchuk

Finally, someone has responded to my invitation to submit jokes which I can publish on this blog. I'd like to thank Oleg Palamarchuk for the cocktail of jokes that follow:

Financial Jokes from the Outside

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The bell rang and the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk started his lesson:
“Today we will discuss a very important subject. What do I mean? Solve a riddle:
“Many of us have much of this but none of us enough! What is this?”
“Money!” said the children.
“No!” the teacher rejected the answer. “I mean knowledge.”

* * *
“Whom does God love better: the wise or the fools?” a pupil asked the teacher-polyglot.
“God loves all of us equally,” the teacher replied.
“Why do the fools live better than the wise?”
“The wise enjoy wisdom, the fools enjoy money. That’s why God gives wisdom for the wise and money for the fools.”

* * *
One pupil asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“Will I become a businessman after graduating from the Institute of International Economics and Management?”
“No!”
“Why?”
“The institute teachers won’t teacher you it, because those who know how to make money will never teach others how to do it.”

* * *
At the English lesson the teacher-polyglot asked his pupil:
“How do you understand the idiom “to work like a horse”?”
“To work like a horse means to earn only for oatmeal,” the pupil replied.

* * *
A boy, who attended the lessons on German conducted by the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk, asked his teacher to clear up him the meaning of two words.
“What does it mean “freedom” and what does it mean “democracy”?”
“How can I explain?” the teacher-polyglot was puzzled.
“Well, freedom is when you stay alone at home. And democracy is when you will have a new father in four or five years.”

* * *
One day a schoolboy asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“What is a law?”
“How can I explain it for you?” the teacher hesitated. “Shortly saying, the law is for fool men!”
“What is for the wise then?”
“The wise men always reach an agreement between each other,” explained the teacher.

* * *
One day in the street the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk was stopped by his neighbor, who spent before a TV-set a lot of time.
“Our country is faced with the general crisis once more!” the neighbor began to talk.
“There is no crisis for all,” the teacher objected.
“Some suffer from it, others get profit of it. As to me I have a bad toothache.”
“How do you think it will have ended?”
“I think either my doctor will put in a filling or he will get my tooth out.”

* * *
Once the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk was asked:
“What should one do to become a well-known economic expert in the mass media?”
“One must foresee what won’t happen, but if it has happened, one should explain why it mustn’t have happened.
“But, what will be, if he makes a right economic forecast?”
“Then this economist cannot be well-known, otherwise the mass media magnates won’t earn anything on the stock exchange.”

* * *
“What is money in your life?” the students asked the teacher-polyglot.
“Money is solicitudes of my life when I want to buy necessary things. But when I spend my money for unnecessary things or when I don’t spend money at all, it, money, doesn’t trouble me at all.”

* * *
Once a friend asked the teacher-polyglot Oleg Palamarchuk:
“How many dollars do you earn a month?”
“I earn many dollars but little money.”

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If you need more jokes, you can visit Oleg's website at: www.oleganekdot.narod.ru