Friday, June 13, 2008

Questions and Answers

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy, and many of them find their way into investment banking. Here are good-natured questions and answers pertaining to their kind:

Q: Why does Treasury only have 10 minutes for morning tea?

A: If they had any longer, they would need to re-train all the economists.

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Q: Why did the market economist cross the road?

A: To reach the consensus forecast.

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Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about five years.

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Q: How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None - the market has already discounted the change.

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Q: Did you hear of the economist who dove into his swimming pool and broke his neck?

A: He forgot to seasonally adjust his pool.

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Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

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Q: How has French revolution affected world economic growth?

A: Too early to say.

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Q: How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.

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Q: What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates?

A: Deflator mouse

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Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to assume the existence of ladder and one to change the bulb.

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Q: Why has astrology been invented?

A: So that economics could be more accurate.

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Q: Why did God create economists?

A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.

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Q: What does an economist do?

A: A lot in the short run, which amounts to nothing in the long run.

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Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

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Q: What's the difference between economists and businessmen?

A: The first don't keep their feet on the ground; the latest use to keep their four feet in the ground

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Q: How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?

A: All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the aggregate demand to the right.

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Q: What's the difference between an economist and a befuddled old man with Alzheimer's?

A: The economist is the one with the calculator.

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Why study Economics?

Many investment bankers have an economics background. So, why did they study economics instead of, say, a business or engineering course? Here are the top reasons to study Economics:

1. Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."

2. Economists can supply it on demand.

3. You can talk about money without every having to make any.

4. Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out.

5. When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

6. If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".

7. Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward, in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.

8. When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

9. When you call 1-900-LUV-ECON and get Kandi Keynes, you will have something to talk about.

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Sunday, June 1, 2008

The I-Banker's Girlfriend

A girl gets on a plane and goes up to first-class. The flight attendant tells her that she will have to move back; her ticket is for business class. The girl says, "I'm female, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to see my INVESTMENT BANKER boyfriend in California."

The main flight attendant is brought in and explains that she will have to move. The girl says, "I'm female, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to see my investment banker boyfriend in California."

The attendants tell the pilot. He comes in and looks the situation over. He leans over and whispers something to the girl and she gets up immediately and moves out of first class.

The attendants are flabbergasted, "What did you say to her?" "I just told her that this section of the plane doesn't go to California!"

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Hopelessly I-Bankers

Two INVESTMENT BANKERS went to lunch. The one said to the other, “Let’s relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market for once.”

“Good idea. Let’s talk about women.”

“Okay, common or preferred?”

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