Two Rats--And A Wildcat

Here's a circa 1887 joke about Wall Street from Life, vol. IX, no. 230, p.289. See how amazingly timeless its moral lesson is:

An old rat, whose long residence in the city had given him great knowledge of the wiles of civilized life, observed one evening a tempting bit of cheese close by his favorite hole in the wall.

Instead of greedily rushing at it, he called a young friend, saying, "Whiskerando, some kind person has prepared a feast for us. Help yourself."

The guileless innocent rushed on the cheese, which he devoured voraciously: but, alas! in a few minutes he rolled over on his back, stone dead. The dainty was poisoned.

"My experience in Wall Street has stood me in well," mused the old rat as he turned into his hole: "it is safer to give other folks pointers, and pocket your commission, than to risk your all on a wildcat investment."

(Photo credit: Google Images)

Bush on Bank Closings

Here's a joke from the Jay Leno show:

"You know, I'll tell you, once again, I don't think President Bush gets it. He doesn't really understand economic issues. Like today, he was asked if customers should be concerned by all these bank closings. And Bush said, 'If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM.'"

Like A Baby

The current Wall Street meltdown has frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he was worried.

He replied that he slept like a baby.
He was amazed and asked, “Really? Even with all the bank failures?”

He said, “Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours… I do that a number of times through the night until morning comes.”

(Source: Boo Chanco, Philippine Star)