Sunday, February 17, 2008

Loan Arithmetic


I'm sure you've come across jokes starring Little Johnny. Here's one from www.penaltychargesforum.co.uk :

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson.

'If you had ten pounds,' said the teacher, 'and I asked you for a loan of eight pounds, how much would you have left?'

'Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.

'Ten?' the teacher said 'How do you make it ten?

'Well,' replied Little Johnny 'You may ask for a loan of eight pounds, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'

P.S. Little Johnny went on to be a successful banker :-)

(Photo credit: www.sxc.hu)

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Banking for Red Indians


If you've ever served in a bank dealing with customers from all walks of life, you'd know how stressful this kind of work could be. I had personally experienced this kind of work, although briefly, as part of our on-the-job module for a management training program when I was still rising up the corporate ladder as a junior bank officer. Here's a joke from www.jokesmagazine.com that illustrates how difficult it is to deal with customers who are not financially sophisticated but whom you have to deal with as part of the job:

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local BANKER. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.

"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

"Don't know of collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"I don't know; it has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put it in my pocket."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.

"I don't know of deposit."

"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"

(Photo credit: www.sxc.hu)

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

That's a Lot of Bull


Once in a while, I come across jokes like this from http://www.jokeathon.com. Go figure it out:

A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the BANKER who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!"

"Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied the rancher.

"What kind of pills?" asked the banker.

"I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."

(Photo credit: Stockxpert.com)

Monday, April 16, 2007

Whose Problem Is It?


This one's part of the BANKER JOKES collection of www.workjoke.com but if you ask me, I think there's more truth here than humor:

If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.

(Photo credit: Stockxpert.com)

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