Cheat Sheet

This is an accountant joke, but since it is part of an i-banker's job to work with financial statements, I thought I could post this here as well:

“A very respected accountant was facing retirement. He had served loyally for 40 years, and in that long and distinguished career never misplaced or misreported a single penny. However, early in his career colleagues had noticed a foible.”

“Every morning when he arrived at work, the gentleman opened his top desk drawer, lowered his head over the drawer, and mediated for a full two minutes. Then he closed the drawer and started the day.”

“After celebrating the retirement of this beloved friend, his coworkers were sad to start a new week without him. But many decades of curiosity could now be satisfied, what accounting secret was hidden is in that drawer?”

“A large assemblage of accountants crowded around his desk early that Monday morning while the head of accounting opened his desk drawer to see what accounting mystery it held. The group listened with rapt attention as she read the small note taped inside his top drawer!”

“Debits on the left, Credits on the right.”

Always Count Your Fingers

A financier had a wide reputation as a man difficult to separate from his money. A couple of promoters approached him one day and tried to sell him on a scheme they had.

The financier talked with them  for a while but said he could give them no definite answer as yet. Telling them that he would communicate with them in a few days, he showed them out of the office.

One of the promoters seemed quite optimistic and voiced the opinion to his partner that he thought the financier was pretty well sold on their proposition.

"I don't know," replied the other skeptically. "He seemed too suspicious to me. Didn't you notice that, after shaking hands with me, he started to count his fingers?"

(Clipart courtesy of Google Images)

The Legendary J.P. Morgan

A legend of doubtful authenticity has it that J.P. Morgan was once present with a group of men at a bar in the financial district. Beckoning to the waiter, he ordered a beer; at the same time, saying, "When Morgan drinks, everybody drinks." Everybody had a beer and when Morgan had finished, he slapped a dime upon the table, saying, "When Morgan pays, everybody pays."